MemoryMentor’s Blog

Sometimes we don’t take the time to really get to know ourselves or consider the direction we are taking - we are far too preoccupied with the demands of everyday life…

Do you know the answer to the following questions? If not now is the time to step back and check your direction and priorities. What are your long-term goals? What is most important to you in life? What is most important in your relationships? What direction is your career/work life taking?

If you are not yet sure of your answer to these questions, the following ideas might be a useful starting point. They may also help you to identify those areas that are working well and those were change may be required.

List five aspects of your life that your most enjoy and find most fulfilling.

List five aspects of your life that you dislike the most - perhaps because they stop you doing things that are really important to you.

You might list big things here, or it might be small things. Some times the everyday things can be the most important, and equally, sometimes, it can be small things that cause us the greatest stress. As the following exercise explains…

Have you ever sat watching a television programme you didn’t enjoy, putting up with it simply because the batteries in the remote have run out and you can’t be bothered to get up and walk to the television to change it. So you tolerate a programme you do not like. Many aspects of life can be like that. We tolerate things we do not like, simply because it is easier. But all these things drain our energy, and mean that it is not available to put into things we really enjoy. They reduce the day-to-day quality of our lives.

Make a list of twenty things you are tolerating in your life right now. These may be big things or quite small ‘niggles’, but they all sap your energy. Here are a few examples to get you started:

• a job you dislike
• messy children’s bedrooms
• a dirty fridge
• a partner who doesn’t listen to you
• a huge pile of ironing waiting to be done
• a garden full of weeds
• a room that needs painting
• dead plants
• friends or family who take you for granted.

Take a moment to consider what your life would be like if none of your tolerations existed. How would you benefit. Note down your first, instantaneous reaction. Now go through your list again and ask for each item: what am I getting by putting up with this?

When you know life would be better if you were not tolerating this particular energy drain, ask yourself what is really stopping you from dealing with it? Get to the root of the problem and you will be able to resolve the issue.

The Difference Between Dreams and Goals

Dreams tend to be unfocused and non-specific. To turn a dream into a goal, clients need to decide on two things - how much, and by when!

For instance, Heather’s dream is to be slim, healthy and happy with her appearance. Her goals are specific, and include: to weigh 185 pounds by 6 p.m. on Tuesday 16 May 2006.

Here is another example:

The Dream - to live in a beautiful house in the country with a big garden and a stream.

The Goal - to own a house with five bedrooms and a garden of at least 1 acre and a stream running through it, looking out over rolling countryside, within 2 hours commute from London, by 5 p.m. on 1st April 2008.

A dream is a goal without legs. It is a wonderful thing to have, can be the guiding passion of your life, but unless you clarify it and give it the legs to move toward you, getting there is going to be very much a matter of luck.To transform a dream into a reachable goal you must clarify it, provide the details, make it so clear that you can see it, feel it, know what you will feel like when you get there. This works for you in many ways.

Diana Robinson, Turning Dreams into Goals. When you have decided on your goals, the next stage is to clarify them and make them specific. In order to do this write specifications for each goal as if writing out a detailed work order. This should include every possible detail.

For example, if you want a certain house, write down its specifics in vivid, colourful detail - the location, the size and appearance of the garden and surrounding area, the interior - furniture, artwork, sound system, floor plan, etc. If you can find a picture of the house you are looking for, or the interiors you want, cut these out and put them with your description. They will make your visualisations even more intense and effective.

You also need to set a date by which you wish to achieve each goal. This is an essential step - a message to the subconscious mind telling it what it needs to work on and when it needs to happen.

Write down big goals that will stretch you, as well as goals that you can achieve in the short term. It is important to have some goals that require us to grow in order to achieve them - perhaps to learn new skills or build new relationships. You may feel uncomfortable with big goals because they are so far outside your comfort zone, but this is an important challenge that will help you to achieve your full potential.

Breakthrough Goals

Most goals are quite small (even though they may be significant to you at the time) but breakthrough goals are massive because they represent a quantum leap in your life. For example, for a struggling author who has never seen her work in print, a breakthrough goal will be to see her name in a by-line for the first time.

Breakthrough goals are life-changing, they get you in front of the right people, and take you to a higher level.

Another name for breakthrough goals is HUGGS (Huge, Unbelievably Great Goals). HUGGs have the following features:

They are long-term.

They are clear, compelling and easy to grasp.